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Saturday, June 5, 2010

My Best... Cheap Night In

After all this eating out lately, it’s time to tighten my belt for a bit (both in terms of cost and calories!) and stay in a few nights to actually cook for myself instead.

My staple of a solo cheap and chavvy night in is my all-time favourite recipe of pasta topped with norsky salat (a.k.a. surimi salat) – my personal equivalent of culinary crack. For those of you not familiar with surimi, Wikipedia describes this supposed foodstuff as “fish slurry or paste, made from white-fleshed fish (such as pollock or hake) that has been pulverized to a paste and attains a rubbery texture when cooked, which is then coloured and flavoured to mimic the texture and colour of the meat of lobster, crab and other shellfish”. It is then mixed with mayonnaise and presumably a whole gauntlet of other additives by the good factory workers of Albert to come up with the creamy, calorific pomazanka type “delicacy” I (and presumably many more in the Czech Republic all) know and love.

Despite the less than savoury description, I would probably still mainline this if I could (probably a result of the copious amount of E-numbers contained within), and actually have been known to once eat this dish five days on the trot after an enforced two week detox in the UK last Christmas.

Anyway, if I haven’t already thoroughly put you off, ingredients of this quick and easy equivalent to addictive culinary nirvana are:

A handful of spaghetti (about 3kč)
An individual tub of norsky salat (30kč)
A little parmesan (10kč)
Half a bottle of finest nejlevnější (20kč – rising to 39kč if you finish the bottle)

Preparation couldn’t be simpler, namely:

1. Open wine and raise glass to mouth repeatedly. Quaff as required.
2. Put pasta on to boil, going on to accidentally overcook whilst distracted by Facebook Scrabble or Skype chatting with overseas other half.
3. Top up wine glass and continue consumption.
4. Drain soggy pasta and transfer to dish.
5. Dump norsky salat on top and add a little parmesan / copious amounts of black pepper.
6. Serve with side salad (well, have to get some nutrients in there somehow...).

Best combined with Coronation Street and half a diazapam for maximum enjoyment.

Oh dear, I’m probably not doing myself any favours here as a supposed (if self-appointed) food critic here, am I?

Well, if my beloved norsky salat recipe doesn't convince you, let’s upgrade to my slightly more gourmet version of Spaghetti with Pesto, Goat’s Cheese and Sun-dried Tomatoes, served this time with a slightly more quality bottle of 2007 Hardy’s Cabernet Merlot. Again this takes just 10 - 15 minutes to make (i.e. cook and drain spaghetti, stir in half a jar of red or green pesto, a handful of soft goat’s cheese and sun-dried tomatoes, and serve topped with parmesan and pine nuts). I know it looks a bit of a splat, but trust me it does taste really, really good.

In accordance with the more gourmet standard of the dish, this recipe is best combined with more “quality” programming such as The Apprentice (UK version of course) or Supersize vs Superskinny.

Which pretty much wraps it up for a cheap night in Knedlikova style. I’ve probably discredited myself and my site utterly in the course of this entry, but do read on - I promise to return to true culinary form in my next coming entries... ;-))

1 comment:

  1. mate have read all the stuff uv done, and that was by far the funniest, brilliant!!! loved this part-"Best combined with Coronation Street and half a diazapam for maximum enjoyment". super