We can cultivate a saint out of ourselves, or we can make a sinner - The Supreme Master, Ching Hai, again

I had again been planning to review one of the many restaurants I recently frequented with visiting relatives for this week, but following my latest visit to vegan restaurant-café Loving Hut the other day, I now instead want to speak of a new family - a better, more spiritually enlightened, global family of regularly meditating, ecologically minded, dedicated, herbivorous followers of our revered leader, the Supreme Master, Ching Hai. According to her website at www.godsdirectcontact.org, our Supreme Master "has come to this world, on the mission of Quan Yin, to save sentient beings from misery," as well as apparently also saving the planet at the same time. (Moonies-meet-eco-warriors is probably not too far off the mark here...)

I haven't been vegetarian, let alone vegan, for a good 10 years now, but had been meaning to visit one of the Loving Hut branches, on Londýnská or Truhlářská, for some time, out of curiosity if nothing else. I now realize this curiosity was, in fact, the Universe's way of bringing me into the fold of our beloved Supreme Master, who (in her wisdom divining that faith can very often be bought via food) heavily endorses the Loving Hut restaurant chain worldwide.

Though the interior of the Londýnská branch of Loving Hut was, as a whole, spacious, airy and clean, the presence of sponsor/spiritual savior Ching Hai, in the form of lionizing portraits adorning the walls, a shelf of her personally penned spiritual literature in the corner, and a widescreen TV playing her dedicated channel Supreme Master TV non-stop could not fail to escape our attention.

Our exalted Supreme Master teaches that we should achieve enlightenment via the practice of Quan Yin mediation, renunciation of material possessions and strict adherence to a vegan diet - hence the Asian-themed, tofu-reliant menus of Loving Hut restaurants around the world. Those who accuse the Supreme Master of fraud and hypocrisy in the practice of her non-materialistic, stridently environmentalist beliefs are clearly just unenlightened fools blinded by the false prophets of both consumerism and carnivorism.

Our Supreme Master also preaches abstinence from alcohol, hence a drinks menu limited to soft drinks and holistic teas. I will admit that my then-unenlightened self initially reacted with horror at this uncompromisingly temperate stance; however, I realize now that our Supreme Master, in denying me my usual evening glass of wine (or two), was simply attempting to steer me onto the noble path towards enlightenment. Cola light and Mattoni were both deemed spiritually acceptable, however, while Mr. T went for a very nice ginger-and-orange tea, which smelled and tasted kind of like a non-alcoholic svařák.

As well as an already-vegetarian Mr. T, I was also joined on this occasion by a normally meat-eating Miss E and good friend Prague Ginge. They appeared bemused by my sudden, unquestioning embrace of our Supreme Master and all her various teachings, in their as-yet-unenlightened state bandying about such clearly misinformed terms as "cult," "creepy" and "female Kim Jong-il."

Anyway, back to a more earthly plane and onto the food itself.

As a long-time vegetarian in Prague, Mr. T was in his element having a whole menu to choose from, rather than just getting stuck with the usual default veggie option of smažený sýr.

In the end he opted for a starter of curry soup made with potatoes, carrot and soya meat (35 CZK), followed by the tofu-based Champion burger (65 CZK).

Devotee that I am, I cannot remain blind to the fact that, while our Supreme Master may be perfect in every way, clearly not everything about Loving Hut's food met those standards.

I couldn't help but notice that the soup (acceptable as, I'm assured, it was) certainly looked pretty unappealing, while the burger was very small and pretty lazily presented. Mr. T said that it wasn't bad, but that he could easily make better himself at home, and also that he would have preferred ketchup on top rather than the pinkish vegan mayonnaise-style sauce it came with. However, Google reliably informs me that ketchup is not always considered strictly vegan due to the inclusion of animal bone char in the processing. Yum.

Given that our Supreme Master descended from an ethereal to an earthly plane via Vietnam, it is perhaps to be expected that Loving Hut fared rather better with its Southeast Asian-style cuisine than imitation Western. That, or the fact that all the kitchen and service staff were also Asian. (Not to mention most efficient and polite, while we're on the subject.)

I, for example, couldn’t turn down the option of Vietnamese phò at 95 CZK.

I noticed that the imitation black beef shown on the menu had been substituted for white mock chicken, but this didn't bother me - one pretend substance is as good as any other as far as I'm concerned.

Even in my decade-long period of teenage vegetarianism, I couldn't really bring myself to truly embrace any kind of tofu or imitation meat apart from Quorn, but for the sake of our Supreme Master (and also the chance to sample one of my traditional favorites) I was willing to give it a go.

Vegan or not, I've never yet found a phò outside of Vietnam that's come anywhere near my level of spice/seasoning requirements, so had to utterly douse this one in chili and soy sauce until it had sufficient zing for my purposes. There was a smattering of coriander and spring onion already thrown in to jazz it up a little, but I'd have preferred much more in terms of both seasoning and fish oil, not to mention the more traditional lime rather than lemon wedges to squeeze into it too. Still, it was certainly a generous portion, and - once I'd poured in half the contents of the table condiment jars - pretty much acceptable. Even the mock chicken wasn't quite as off-putting as I'd been expecting - the texture was a little odd, admittedly, but it had clearly been marinated in advance and added a welcome substance to the dish as a whole.

Miss E went for the Green Harmony at 69 CZK.

This green vegetable and mushroom stir-fry was definitely a cut above the bog-standard slop you get from your typical "Čínský bistro" - Miss E was very impressed by the freshness of the vegetables, which still retained a nice crunch rather than being sautéed into soggy oblivion like they unfortunately do at my local Chinese. I had a taste and found the sauce to be pretty bland and sorely lacking in chili for my taste but, on the other hand, I didn't think I detected any (or at least much) MSG in it either. You certainly got plenty of the stuff at any rate, to the extent that the rest of the dish looked like it might drown at any minute.

Last but not least, Prague Ginge indulged her sushi love, working on the basis that with enough soy sauce, wasabi, and pickled ginger, she could perhaps overlook the notable absence of any actual fish.

On the menu photo there had been only six pieces shown, but for the same modest price (96 CZK) Prague Ginge was presented with an entire 16. Needless to say, she wasn't complaining about quantity, though the quality, on the other hand, was a little more dubious here. She commented that several of the pieces looked quite clumsily made, and compared it to supermarket sushi in terms of the taste and texture of the rice. I also thought they could have shown a little more creativity in varying the fillings from just plain raw vegetable, maybe by using avocado, tofu, or some of the mock shrimp featured in some of the other spring roll starter dishes. Overall, Prague Ginge confirmed that she'd pretty much got precisely what she'd been expecting in ordering an all-vegan sushi dish, which I think says it all really.

So, as a newly dedicated follower of our Supreme Master Ching Hai, what was my overall verdict on this particular branch of her personally endorsed chain of Loving Huts?

Our Supreme Master teaches that: "Heaven or hell, they are all created by ourselves."

Therefore, if you are into the vegan food scene and don't mind trying out such "alternative" ingredients as mock meat or imitation shrimp, then Loving Hut probably has more choice in this respect than anywhere else in Prague. If, on the other hand, you are the type who likes a big bloody steak for dinner and considers tofu a hippie "non-food," then it's probably best give this one a miss, especially if - like me - you find the idea of a meal without alcohol pretty hard to stomach.

Personally speaking, I'm not into tofu or other meat substitutes as the predominant ingredient enough to warrant a second visit, but would recommend it as a casual and affordable lunch or dinner option to those that do have the taste for it. I personally thought the menu could benefit from the addition of a few more vegan-friendly "natural" options, such as bean- or pulse-based dishes as well. Instead, Loving Hut seems to me rather too reliant on just one "artificial" foodstuff, the mock meat, which may not necessarily be to everyone's taste.

That said, the place was pretty packed on the evening we were there, so in truth it's not as if they really need to diversify for the sake of their custom here. As for me, though, I still definitely prefer the variety and ambience of Lehká hlava and Maitrea (admittedly both vegetarian rather than vegan) when it comes to getting my ethical food fix.

And oh, alright then, I'll admit it - my own short period of spoof spiritual devotion ended approximately three quarters of an hour later, when a concerned Prague Ginge, in a noble attempt to wrest me from the cultish clutches of Ching Hai & Co., succeeded in dragging me into our official "local", of V & R Imports (or "Robert's", as we call it) on the way home, where the two of us inevitably proceeded to re-convert ourselves from saints to sinners over the consumption of multiple bottles of lovely, lovely red wine...

Fair enough, I might not ever get to be a "fairy, Bodhisattva, saint or arahant" this way, but when it comes to good times and gourmet, at least, Robert's - as opposed to the holy-rolling Loving Hut and the like - has to be my true spiritual home!

Loving Hut Londýnská
Londýnská 35
Prague 2
Phone: (+420) 222 515 006

And so it was that on the first evening of their trip, I chivalrously led a visiting Aunty, Uncle and Mummy K from their hotel in the Old Town over to Resto Cafe Patio, an upper mid-range restaurant near Národní třída which - without a hint of self-interest, of course - I had been saving for ages for just such a "special occasion".

Décor here is eclectic to say the least, basically consisting of lots of hanging lanterns, soft furnishings from their adjoining Le Patio Lifestyle design shop and - for reasons unexplained - a great big replica boat complete with faux pirate-style rope-bridge.

That we would start off with wine (and plenty of it) was already a given - a deeply-held love for this most civilized of intoxicants is hard-wired into the DNA on both sides of the family. That over the whole course of the five-day visit, the thought of sampling any of the Czech Republic's world-renowned pivo didn't once cross our minds is just testament to the Knedlík family's traditionally oenophilic bent.

As the man of the table, Uncle Knedlík ordered a bottle of Italian Pinot Grigio at 510 CZK.

This went down very nicely, thank you very much, and, needless to say, before long a second bottle of the same duly followed.

Following traditional family practice of skipping starters in favor of dessert, we proceeded on this occasion straight to the mains.

True to form, Mummy K went for roast herb marinated pork tenderloin with caramel sauce and potato purée at 260 CZK.

I had a bite and found this surprisingly tasty. Pork is one of my mum's favourites, but generally not one of mine; however, this version was tender to the point of pinkness in the center, and was perfectly matched by the creamy mashed potato and deliciously thick, sweet, caramelized sauce. Maminka duly agreed.

Auntie K opted for the grilled corn-fed chicken breast wrapped in pancetta with wine-cream sauce with mushrooms and potato purée at 245 CZK.

This was pretty comparable in terms of both quantity and quality to the pork dish, with perfectly cooked slices of tender chicken thigh presented on top of a bed of mash and creamy mushroom sauce. Tatička pronounced herself more than happy with the dish, though did comment that she thought there was too much potato in proportion to the meat. Mother K had voiced no such concerns as to her (pretty much identical) portion size, however.

Uncle K does like his pasta, so opted for the spaghetti with chili, basil and prawn off Le Patio's short Specials list.

I had also been tempted to go for this, and was privately rather glad when it came that I hadn't - I would definitely have felt shortchanged here, especially in comparison with some of the evening's other dishes. The rather small portion of undressed spaghetti looked bland and dried-out, as if it had been sitting out while the other meals were being prepared. The prawns likewise looked very ordinary - I was expecting a little more elaborate a dish from an otherwise stylish place like Le Patio. Uncle K, who easily polished off the dish in just a few quick bites, voiced no such complaints, however, and in the end any deficiencies in terms of portion size were quickly addressed via his subsequent consumption of approximately half my already-replete aunt's dinner in its wake - it's an ongoing arrangement that suits them both, apparently.

As for me, I immediately zeroed in on the option of yellow fin tuna steak in sesame crust with fresh orange juice-glazed carrot and fried potatoes with sea salt at 320 CZK.

I'd been hankering after a bite of Le Patio's ever-so-slightly seared, near-sashimi-raw-in-the-center tuna ever since I saw a picture of their tuna avocado salad on Brewsta's blog earlier this year, and this version definitely didn’t disappoint. The fish was perfectly fresh and well matched by the glazed carrot and salted potato side vegetables and, in fact, the only criticism I'd make of the dish as a whole is that I didn't detect much in the way of sesame in the crust. Other than that, though, I personally thought this was the absolute winner of the night.

Dessert-wise, yet again we all conformed to usual family food stereotype.

Aunty K can never resist a crème brulée.

On her personal crème brulée scale (based on years of conscientious tasting all around the world), she rated this one a solid "8".

Uncle K, on the other hand, has a penchant for ice-cream.

I'm not a massive ice cream fan (unless it's of the really superior variety, I usually find it the boring option on a menu), but with several generous scoops of chocolate and vanilla topped with cream, fruit, pistachios, almonds and mint, this looked a pretty jazzed-up rendition. Uncle K was more than happy, but that said, when it comes to ice cream, he is admittedly pretty easy to please.

My mum likes to pretend that fruit in the context of a dessert still contributes to her government-recommended "five-per-day" quota, so went for the panacotta with cognac and forest fruits.

I tried a bit and found it rather on the bland side, but Mum claimed to like it at any rate.

And as for me, I likewise predictably went for the chocolate option with the chocolate fondant with vanilla crème, orange zest and mint.

This was large, squidgy, warm and - in a word - delicious. Also severely guilt-inducing afterwards, of course, but I won't bore you with my personal calorie-control-based hang-ups here.

The cost for each dessert was around the 100-120 CZK mark.

As I was being generously taken out on this occasion, I didn't see the total bill, and out of deference to any reading relatives will pretend here that I couldn't have worked it out from listing pretty much all the individual food and drink items separately already.

So, after four long years of languishing on my restaurant "to do" list, did Resto Cafe Patio in the end live up to expectations?

One disappointing dish aside, well, pretty much yes. Overall, the food was excellent, the service attentive and polite, and the ambience spot-on, with the company in this case making for a happy and memorable meal. I'll definitely keep it in mind for any future special occasion, such as a birthday, romantic dinner-for-two, or family reunion.

And speaking of which, a heartfelt thanks to my own nearest and dearest, who - much to their credit, it must be said - took my sudden transformation from previously unassuming daughter/great-niece to new incarnation of frantic food-photographing, note-taking, blog-posting "Miss Knedlíkova" in their stride, and didn't once complain about being roped in as involuntary participants in my culinary blogosphere.

Which is just as well, really, as with the amount of meals out we enjoyed together over the course of the visit, they'll definitely be featuring in the next review or two to come!

Resto Cafe Patio
Národní 22
Prague 1
Phone: (+420) 224 934 375

Ah, I remember it well... The sense of heady anticipation generated back then by owner Bobby Jain in his free tastings and good-humored hype campaigns on expat forums; the undeniable spark between us when first Masala and I did meet; the subsequent butterflies in my stomach (and not the Delhi belly kind either) on the way home at having at long last located a place for decent curry in this otherwise spice-lorn city... Happy days.

For a while, things continued splendidly between us, but over time, bit by bit, I slowly started to realize that Masala was no longer returning the love in quite the same way. Dwindling portion sizes, inconsistent quality and constantly overstretched service left me feeling neglected and betrayed, and over time the relationship eventually started to fizzle out, finally coming to a decisive end once and for all when my affections were won over by then newcomer-to-the-scene Curry House in Palmovka (one recent disappointing dalliance with Dilli Delhi in Vinohrady notwithstanding).

A year or so down the line, and I thought I was fully over my relationship with Masala -- that is, however, until the recent opening of a new branch on Pod Karlovem in Nusle suddenly and unexpectedly reawakened all my long-forgotten emotions for the place.

Clearly Masala was making great efforts at a new beginning, and I thought it fair to give the place a second chance - if only for old time's sake.

And so it was that Tango Man, Miss X and I headed to the newly opened Nusle branch last week to take a collective trip down culinary memory lane.

The interior was notably much more spacious than the Mánesova branch, which at busy periods does rather tend towards the claustrophobic. The decor was likewise more "Indian" themed, and they also had a small outside section at the back, where - like pretty much all other customers that balmy evening - we also sat on this occasion.

To start off, Tango Man ordered a large Gambrinus at 70 CZK, while Miss X and I both went for a 0.2-liter glass of Chardonnay at 95 CZK per glass. Ouch.

At the Mánesova restaurant they used to serve complimentary pappadoms at the start of a meal. No such luck here.

If it wasn't going to be free, we decided not to fill up too much on starters on this occasion and instead proceeded directly to the mains.

I went for the Murg Methi at 197 CZK. This was described on the menu as "chicken breast cooked in rich garlic, ginger and onion with crushed fenugreek leaves, coriander and cumin powder."

Miss X opted for the Chicken Palak at 175 CZK, a Punjabi dish cooked with chicken, spinach, tomatoes and spices.

Tango Man already knew what he wanted from a previous visit (which he'd also praised highly), namely the Tandoori Chicken (185 CZK) with mint sauce - officially on the starter menu, but which he requested this time round as a main course.

It wasn't intentional that everyone went for chicken, by the way - it just worked out that way.

Everyone was hungry, and so as not to test their patience, I just took a quick snap of all the mains collectively, pictured below with a side order of basmati rice at 49 CZK.

Additional side dishes we ordered were the onion kulcha (60 CZK) and plain naan (39 CZK).

The collective opinion here was that the curries both had the benchmarks of a really good dish - subtly flavored, generously proportioned, tender meat and (unlike some places, where it's all sauce and no substance) plenty of it too. What let both dishes down, in my opinion, was the usual Prague problem of pandering primarily to the spice-averse - though supposedly served "medium hot," neither dish really registered more than a "2" on my personal spice scale ("1" being a mild, non-threatening korma, "10" a belly-busting phall). This was partly my own fault - the Masala menu does clearly state that dishes can be requested hotter, and after all the meek and mild curries I've eaten in this city over the years, I really should have known better by now than not to have asked.

Nor was mere lack of spice the only issue with heat here either. Without the traditional hotplates to keep the food warm, out in the garden everything quickly cooled to lukewarm by the time we were halfway through - a shame when such an elementary error could have been so easily avoided.

Tango Man and Miss X both liked the two large pieces of Tandoori Chicken, which were definitely very well seasoned, but which I personally found rather on the dry side -- I was happy just to have a taste here and fill up on the curries and kulcha instead.

With a couple more drinks thrown in, the meal for three came to a total of 1,130 CZK, which (drinks aside) compares quite well to most other mid-range Indian restaurants in Prague. The overall verdict was that we'd enjoyed the meal, but wished it had been hotter both in terms of spice and standing temperature.

So how does Masala Pod Karlovem compare to Masala Mánesova?

Well, it's certainly less cramped and claustrophobic, and has a lot more potential for hosting big group dinners. (As we left, I noted a pre-booked party of 20 to one side of the indoor section.) With more staff on hand, I also found the service much more pleasant and relaxed -- in the Mánesova branch, they always seem to have one rather frazzled waitress on shift at any one time, with inevitable long waits and occasional slip-ups as a result. I must say I enjoyed the food at Pod Karlovem a lot more than I had done my last two visits to Mánesova, and (though it might be my imagination here), it also seemed that the portions were bigger at this branch as well.

So was this visit as a whole enough to rekindle an old flame....?

In short, not quite. Masala Pod Karlovem was good, but not nearly good enough to replace the current object of my Indian affections, Curry House, where drinks are cheaper (35 CZK for a glass of wine, 32 CZK for a half-liter of Gambrinus), spice is plentiful (and does not have to be specifically requested), and the location is only a quick hop across Libeňský most from my own front door.

No, if anything this return visit to Masala marked a final curry "closure" for me - we had our good times in the past, but have now both moved on to establishments and custom new.

That's not to say that Masala doesn't dish up a decent curry or that it's not a good place to spend the evening, especially if you happen to live in the area - it is.

But for me, when it comes to curry, sadly Masala is simply not "The One."

Masala
Pod Karlovem 12
Prague 2
Phone: (+420) 222 561 021